Thursday, September 20, 2012

The regretful hatred

I can stand for everything, included jog every day,
but I just can't, can't stand for someone keep bad mouth about something.
Even whenever my mum trying to express her unsatisfied feeling about neighbor, relatives, or whatsoever, I will get angry sometime. I know that she just want to "luahkan perasaan", but the way, and frequency, makes me suffocated, even whenever my friends bad mouth about other people, I feel bad, really bad. I try my best not to be like them, so everytime I bad mouth about my friend, I just say it like a joke, just a while, and then i stop. Just, I hate people who KEEP talking and talking and talking and talking about the same old story, don't you feel tired? I once, maybe more than once, asked my mum:" Awak tak rasa letih ke asyik cakap pasal diaorang?Saya rasa letih nak dengar.Awak cakap banyak kali bukannya mereka berubah pun.Kenapa setiap kali kat depan mereka tak langsung cakap?" Sounds rude? Hmm, thats me. Yeap, apa-apa pun terus cakap bukan lagi senang? tak payah nak bazir air liur nak cakap pasal benda yang tak suka. Ulang pasal benda yang awak tak akan pergi ubah. Maybe you will say: "kita kena jaga hati orang~" Cheh, asyik jaga hati jaga hati, habis tu siapa yang nak jaga hati kita? Antara reason kenapa kita tak perlu jaga sangatlah hati diaorang sebab, in the first place you get annoyed sebab mereka lah yang tak jaga hati awak bukan?

Lagi, kenapa nak sangat buatkan sendiri susah hati atau berdendam kerana orang lain yang tak kisah pun perasaan awak? Tak rugi ke? Kesian jantung ngan otak asyik kena depression. Tak lama mati la tu, apa kata hidup gembira sikit? At least, jangan susah hati kerana orang lain. Kalau susah hati sebab saudara dapat cancer tu tak apa, lebih berbaloi untuk sedih.

Mungkin jugak sebab saya ni memang seorang yang tak simpan dendam, saya akan marah tentang sesuatu, tapi saya tak akan marah lama. Tapi ini tidak bermaksud saya akan lupakannya, saya bukan komputer yang dapat delete terus benda tu dari ingatan, ingat tetap akan ingat, tapi saya akan cuba lupakan kecuali ada sesuatu yang menyebabkan saya pergi ungkitnya. Saya sentiasa akan cari kebaikan orang/organisasi tersebut. Semua benda di dunia ini tak akan hanya ada one side of good/evil, semua mesti ada yang baik ada yang jahat. Remind yourself about their good side, even though it's just tiny tiny little thing, but at least it will make you feel better. For example, I hate that XXXXX company, but then XXXXX company was the one who let me have chance to met you, because of this my life is better. If not because of it, now my life will be sucks, therefore I glad about it and now I will not bother about that dem company as it didn't affect me anyway. This is me. Just me. Because I faced too many "hatred" in my life, thats why I hate it. The most sad hatred was towards my own father, because my mom was always keep talking about the bad side of him, plant the seed in my heart, it grows. Even though my father was very sayang me, but then, still I hated him. I loved him more than my mum, was. Anyway, the "hatred tree" just withered along the time, after my father passed away. The most regretful thing was that, I refused to see his face, to talk with him, even to eat what he bought for me before he left. the house for the last time.


Chinese mee curry and "buah berangan" .
The two foods that my late father bought for me for last, but I didn't eat it.
Everytime I will think about him whenever I see these,
especially the buah berangan, cuz I threw it in dustbin.
A "sorry" that can't reach him now. 

This sunday will be mooncake festival, remembered my father used to brought back BIG BOXES of mooncakes ( I even remember the brand: OverSea. 海外天) . This should be a happy memory, but then my parents fought again because of the mooncakes was too many and we can't finish it, even give away to neighbors that we don't really know( should be a good deed wasn't it?). Haiz, adult always fight fight fight fight fight, hey you out there, never shows your hatred in front of a child, even he/she just 4 yrs old or less, they WILL remember it.

Anyway, Selamat pesta tanglung/ Happy mooncake festival/zhong qiu jie kuai le 中秋节快乐。Even though the family is not round and complete like the full moon, life still goes on. Appreciate what we have now is more important than anything.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Third Year In UKM

9 Sept - Today is my brother's 27th birthday. Happy birthday Gor Gor !
No chance to see him come back to Serdang cuz I need to go to UKM for new semester preparation.

This is my brother Marzuki AJ Chung. ^^
He belanja me n mummy to buka puasa at PappaRich few days b4 raya 2012.
Nowadays me n my bro get along quite well compared to old times, and I believe our sibling bond will get stronger !

Anyway, I left my hamster Himawari at home, cuz I got a big luggage to bring and its quite troublesome to get on bus and stairs. Miss you Himawari T^T Are you eating well? I will buy barley and sunflower seed for you ya?
Himawari eating kuaci. =3
10 Sept - Overnight in the same room as last semester so not really a problem for me anymore, I know where to hang my things, put my stuffs and with the ULTIMATE toilet in room so I get ready for my 8am class in the speed of light! Haha. New semester, new challenge! Some of my friend will be new semester, old challenge, but will face it with new attitude I believe. xD Come On~ ROCK OUT !

11 Sept - Tired day cuz walk here n there to settle quite a few things. Excitingly, my loved one come to UKM today, hope he will do well :) Wish all the best for him. *Pray hard* By the way, he set out an "RR plan" for me. hehe. The first task for me is to sleep by 1 am every day. =D hoho Tonight we have mapley session after so long. Miss everyone so much~ >_<

Wish everyone have a brilliant semester, and try our best to perform better, much much better! Never regret the days, cuz we definite hardly restart it.